Indian Democracy

India is a country of free speech. People don't mind paying a little to listen to a good one,though.

Enough cackle!

Thus spake the old rooster ... "Don't count your chicks before they are laid".

Last Words

Ram and Shyam were walking home after their history class.

Ram:Quite interesting,isn't it?Churchill's last words were "I'm bored with it all".He then slipped into a coma and died.

Shyam:I cant say the coma could have entertained him,since he could get bored with something like WW2.

Ram:Sometimes,the last words of a dying man tell the gist of their whole life.

Shyam:My grandpa was 70 when he died.His last words were "Fish cutlet".

Ram:Wow!he must have really loved fish cutlets.Did he get to eat them before he died?

Shyam: Of course!My mom made fish cutlets,and he ate them.

Ram:That's wonderful!

Shyam:The doctor later said that if not for those fish cutlets,he would have lived 10 more years.

Ram was silent.Later that week,at Shyam's birthday party,there was one guest who called up and said he couldn't attend since he suddenly had to go somewhere... for something important .

Grand Recipe

"Bheem,disguised as Valalan the cook,then offered his salutations to the grand chef", said the Guru to the congregation.It was his usual friday evening pravachan.
"Enlighten me with your knowledge,O great one",said Bheem,to the aging wizard of food.

"Valalan,know this.Never cook when feeling dejected,cause you will not be able to complete the task."
"Never cook when lonely.Because then you are not cooking to eat,but to while away your time."
"Never cook when angry,for injury will befall you".
"Never cook when hungry,else you will cook in excess".
"Never cook when full.For your heart will not be in it."

"And then he went away",said the Guru.
"Guruji",said an old lady from the gathering,"I have never heard of this story from the Mahabharata.Which chapter does it come under?"

"None of them" chuckled the Guru,"I just cooked it up".

Not enough

They set to war
cries heard a-far
of men,so cool and composed
But soon it tells
that something's less
They now are cold,decomposed!

Change

Change is inevitable It is very important too.
After a week,my roommates volunteer to do my laundry for me.I just have to....change.

Light is Right

Sitting around the bon-fire on a cold winter night,the village kids listened intently to the traveller.
"Remember children" he said, "the wise traveller always travels light.He chooses his load wisely,taking only the absolutely essential.He carries no extra baggage,cause it will slow him down.Neither does he get attached to any of his belongings.Only his memories does he treasure,and experience does he lean on.He understands the value of space,giving away the old to make way for the new. "

Only the elderly nodded when he added, "So in Life".

Lets follow His footsteps

"JESUS SAVES!"
For over 2000 years now. Thats what I call financial discipline.

Historical Evidence of Gaul

It was the not the first time he sang,but Cacofonix was really surprised when all the villagers bashed him and tied him to a tree."You can't do this!I have my rights!", he cried.The villagers showed him a scroll signed by Vitalstatistix which made it legal for anyone to beat him up if he starts singing.

The rule is still valid in most parts of the world. It is called "Poetic license".

Demo please?

Whoever created the phrase "blowing one's own trumpet" was not a doctor,and definitely not a man.

In Texas.....

(Excerpt from an email to a friend)

Crossroads.All signboards mean nothing.
Which way do I go?Backwards?
I dont recognize anybody here.Its cooold,from the inside.I miss the warmth of my motherland.
But then,I see the morning sun.I know that face so well.And I am cold no longer.Neither am I alone.

I know I will learn to love this place....but I am not ready for school yet.

-Nostalgia,all too soon.

Keep Distance

Keep away from ass-kissers.They end up doing you more harm than good.
Dont take my word for it.Ask your car.

Life's Not Unfair

Nature is never unfair.If it has cursed us with the power of reason,it is more than offset by our capacity to laugh.

The madman,however,has got the best deal.

Just Like That

Thinking Dude:I am totally bored with my meaningless life.Oh Wise One!What do I do?
Ancient Wise Man:Meditate and obtain Nirvana.
New Age Wise Man: Marry a gymnast.

Spidey's manager...

"With great power come great electricity bills"

'Ark'hived for Good

Noah's wife: "Darling,I made these delicious omelettes for you.They are huge,aren't they?"
Noah: "Uh oh....Lord forgive us....there go the dinosaurs..."

Which Came First?

The question of
the Chicken and the Egg
So timeless,with no border,

I somehow think,
what matters most
Is how you place your order!

Lets hear it for the newly wedded!

A couple becomes truly happy when they know and understand each other as well as the alphabet.Especially the letter 'G'.

One Mind,One View

The school of pebbles at the bottom of the rivulet taught that stones sink in water.The school at the banks believed that stones always skim over the water from one bank to another.

Ocassionally a stone would reach the bottom from the bank and tell its tale.It would then be beaten to death by the rest of the pebbles.

Really Wise

The Queen of Sheeba was really impressed when King Solomon answered by opening the windows and letting the bees in.He then took her with him to let her know about his wisdom and the birds and the bees.

Not Ten-On-Ten

Ravana's ten heads brought him fame .But they didn't help him much in getting birthday party invitations.

Theory of Use and Over-Use

Once there was a man from Denmark
Who swore by Noah and the Ark
But then his winking son
went blind in the blinking one
And now he believes in Lamarck!

Finally!

When man landed on the moon,no one was happier than Mother Earth.Indeed,not everyday did she get such glimmers of hope.

Yet Another Farce

The two lovers from India got married in a temple and later in a church the same day.
The priests of both religions discussed amongst themselves...when did the actual marriage take place...in the church,or the temple?
Little did they know that their hearts were married a long time ago.

going to my village near Mangalore.....will be off the net till Oct 3.....

Yaake?*

Its strange how,since time immemorial,people have been associating feelings and emotions with the heart.
How can an organ as busy have time for anything else?

*"Why?" in Kannada

Too Many Mind....

When in captivity,the American kept falling down and losing to his Japanese adversary during the practise session."Too many mind",said his Japanese friend,who was watching from a distance.
"Too many mind?"
"Yes.Mind the sword.Mind the people watching.Too many mind."After a pause,he said,"No mind."
"No mind?No Mind!".The American shot himself in the head.

Nevermind.

Chess

The best thing about the war spread over sixty four squares is that,at the end,there are no losers.

The real war has no winners.

Old Goa

The Se Cathedral and Bom Basilica in Old Goa are lovely buildings.It is said that the grandeur of these gigantic structures made the local simpletons feel overwhelmed and awe-struck at that time.
What astounds me even more is how little is required to make a man feel overwhelmed.

Its Not a Victory,this

Amidst the tickertape and confetti in the victorious army was seen an old man enquiring anxiously about his only son and hope,who hadn't returned. The heavens knew that,somehow,everytime the soldier cried out in pain,the old man's heart wept a silent tear.

Possessed

He knew no fear.He ran amok in the enemy camp,attacking all and sundry.He jumped on them and tore at them."Run,for he is possessed!",cried everyone.He was frothing.His shoulders had the strength of a thousand mountains.He was breathing heavily.

Soon they managed to put the rabid dog to sleep.